The Biggest Mistake Women Make During Career Introductions

As an avid reader of the Cosmo, I have been a fan of Joanna Coles, former Editor-In-Chief, since her early days of at the magazine.  She expanded the content to career advice, finances, and other less traditional “Cosmo” topics making it my all around go to along with Forbes and Inc.  That’s right, I am a Cosmo girl.  My fan girl experience, with regards to Joanna, went to a level 10 when she liked and retweeted something I wrote back in 2014  about rock star women in business.  I felt like that was a small example of how supportive she is of women and their careers.  She is one of my celebrity mentors (in my mind) that I actually have never met but learn so much from.2

Career Advice from Joanna Coles

While watching episode 1 of So Cosmo, Joanna imparted her wisdom on a group of unsuspecting millennials visiting the Cosmo office.  During an introduction exchange between Joanna and the group, one woman introduced herself  by her first name only.  Joanna explains, “First rule of Joanne Coles, women in particular should always say both names [when introducing their selves].  Women always go, hi, I’m Julie.  You have to go hi, I’m Julie Thompson.  Men never ever worry about doing that.”  She further goes on to explain her rationale behind the “first rule of Joanna Coles” to relationship expert, Matthew Hussey, who overheard the exchange between Coles and the millennials.  “It is very important.  It’s my signature thing. Cause you think of yourself as Matthew Hussey, but if you were a girl you would just think of yourself as Matthew.”


Hello, I am….

In that moment, I replayed several instances when I introduced myself to clients as simply Danielle when my male counterpart would introduce himself first name last name.  While doing a little research about introductions, I found that when people properly introduce themselves by first name last name, the other people is more likely to rememer you and your name.  Remember my whole, Hi nice to meet you, I forgot your name already phase??  Perhaps this would have helped everyone back then.  What I like about the “first rule of Joanna Coles”,  is the expression of assertiveness  and dominance in the first introduction.   It’s like “leaning in” before anyone has even had time to make any judgements, good, bad, or indifferent, and letting them know you are  a boss chick in the room.  If this is the first rule of Joanna Coles, I can’t wait to see what else I learn from my celebrity mentor.She Makes Cents Logo

{Business Cents} Don’t Give A Damn If They Like You

She Makes Cents

The respect of those you respect is worth more than the applause of the multitude. ”

— Arnold Glasow

They Like Me, They Really Like Me

Some of the best career advice I ever received came from a magazine. In an archived issue of Cosmopolitan, Mika Brzezinski, Cosmo columnist and co-host of MSNBC’s Morning Joe, suggested that women concerned about being liked at work, “should not give a damn if they like you”. Work as Brzezinski adds, “is not a popularity contest. It is however a respect contest”. It wasn’t until I was sitting in a performance review that I started to understand what she meant by her advice. People can like you for the person that you are and the work that you do but that doesn’t always translate into promotions, benefits, or raises. Sitting there in that office, I was fighting an internal battle and my career was losing BIG TIME! My fear of not being liked was keeping me from confidently asking pertinent questions regarding career progression and compensation. Would they still like me if I challenged the status quo? To this day, I still get embarrassed knowing I was so worried about being liked at such an important career crossroad. I decided to write this, because I know I am not alone and that is evident in my research of women, business, and money.  I hope someone can learn from my experience.

Of course I want to be liked , everyone does, but not at the expense of losing sight of my financial and career goals. If you are a good person and you do exceptional work, then you shouldn’t have to worry about not being liked.  Oprah once told me (dreaming BIG…let me try that sentence again). I attended the commencement ceremony of my alma mater, Spelman College, where Oprah was the speaker. She told the women to, “let excellence be your brand”.  Others will respect you for being focus driven and being the best you can be, and hey, what’s not to like about that? 

What’s More Important in the Workplace?

Being Liked or Respected?

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