what is pinterest? – shemakescents

The Ring Didn’t Mean A Thing!

I wonder does former Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kim Zolciak, still think that after she got hers two years ago? In fact, he put a ring on it after she stopped living off someone else and started bringing in the big bucks from Bravo. My inspiration for this post, however hits a little closer to home as it comes from a girl talk with a girlfriend of mine…let’s call her “Christine” for anonymity sake. Christine and I were catching up the other day laughing at a prediction gone wrong. You see, at the beginning of last years, either she or I made the prediction that her boyfriend would pop the question in 2012. During our girl talk, she revealed that she asked her boyfriend the money and relationship questions discussed in the post 5 Financial Questions you Should Ask Your Significant Other Today to open up lines of communication about money and their future as a couple. Our conversation then led to people who lie about their finances to a significant other.
Sure, like Christine, you and your boyfriend could have talked about marriage, but that doesn’t mean he has been secretly studying up on Tacori, now does it? If being engaged in a certain period was a similar goal and that didn’t happen, let’s examine one major possibility… a.k.a. your financial situation. While I am very open about my personal financial situation with you (SMC readers), my family, and the Mr., I know that everyone is not so comfortable talking about money. Many people were raised to think that frankly, discussions of money are just plain rude. Although I must agree with financial journalist, Jean Chatzy, who advised in article for the Winter 2013 edition of Martha Stewart Weddings that you should “never STOP talking about money”. People list money as the top reason they fight and they confess hiding financial information from their spouse, but if you are planning on a successful marriage and not just a wedding, then you should be able to talk about anything- especially money!

Things to Consider:

Know You Before He Can Know You. This is the epitome of money and relationship advice. On the financial side, you can’t share accurate information about your finances, if you don’t know your current situation. Check your credit score. Keep track of your debt. He can’t know your debt until you know it, just like he can’t fully know you until you know yourself.

Be Open. You may be fluent in your love language, but how is your financial fluency? One thing I had to learn with the Mr. is to truly engage in communication you have to be willing to talk as much as you listen. Give as much as you ask and be prepared to hear things you may not like. Relationships thrive on open lines of communication. Again, if you plan on jumping the broom, you have to be ready to talk about everything, including those stupid financial decisions you made in your early 20s that you are still paying for…literally.

Great Expectations. The 6 carat dream on the .25 carat budget. I have another friend whose boyfriend told her, he was not proposing to her because he couldn’t afford the rings she was pinning on Pinterest. Does she really expect a celebrity ring? No. Does her boyfriend have a point? Yes…well, maybe. Yes, he has a point because he doesn’t want to disappoint you. Maybe, because Pinterest is like an online vision board of awesomeness where you group images that you like that lead to articles that you love (follow SMC on Pinterest). Why not pin pretty things?

Tick Tock, Gotta Beat the Clock. I’ve heard women say, including myself, that they want to be engaged to be married by [insert date/age here]. For many, the race is more so against the clock than against the Joneses. How many of you put a similar emphasis on paying off student loans, credit card debt, protecting your investments, or living debt free? Maybe he is not ready. Maybe you both aren’t ready as you think you are. I will say that you need to make sure your ducks are in a row. Wouldn’t it be lovely, when the time comes, to go into a marriage with no financial surprises. In my opinion, that is WAY better than a ring…but that’s just my two cents.

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Get on a Simple System

The key component to Dave Ramsey’s, “Total Money Makeover” is the envelope system. What is the envelope system, you ask? Well, according to Ramsey, its “way to handle money still works. People used to always use cash envelopes to control their monthly spending, but very few do in today’s card swiping culture”. I will say that it works and the comments to post prove it. Check out Ramsey’s simple basics for starting a cash envelope system.

Budget each paycheck. Budget is a dirty word to most people, but you must budget down to the last dime if you’re going to successfully implement the envelope system. While I know plenty of people who budget a certain percentage of each check, I budget specific figures.

Divide and conquer. Of course, there will be budget items that you cannot include in your envelope system, like bills paid by check or automatic withdraw. However, you can create categories like food, gas, clothing, and entertainment. I usually work off three main categories: groceries, restaurants/entertainment, personal maintenance (hair, nails, or anything that will help me feel “pretty”). I chose these categories for myself because these are the areas I could be tempted to overspend. I pay my bills off the top and then I budget each paycheck into these categories, which were listed in order of importance.

Fill ‘er Up. After you’ve categorized your cash expenses, fill each envelope with the money allotted for it in your budget. For example, if you allow $100 for clothing, put $100 in cash in your clothing envelope for the month.

From Ramsey

When it’s gone, it’s gone. Once you’ve spent all the money in a given envelope, you’re done spending for that category. If you go on a shopping spree and spend the $100 in your clothing envelope, you can’t spend any more on clothes until you budget for that category again. That means no visits to the ATM to withdraw more money!

Don’t be tempted. While debit cards can’t get you directly into debt, if used carelessly, they can cause you to over-spend. There’s something psychological about spending cash that hurts more than swiping a piece of plastic. If spending cash whenever possible can become a habit, you’ll be less likely to over-spend or buy on impulse.

Give it time. It will take a few months to perfect your envelope system. Don’t give up after a month or two if it’s not clicking. You’ll get the hang of it and see how beneficial the envelope system is as you dump debt, build wealth, and achieve financial peace! See … simple! Truth… I sort of fell of the wagon for a while. I actually, couldn’t remember what purse I put the envelopes in until today, when I found them, and I had $20 in my restaurant fund. I started back on the system TODAY!!! It takes work but most great things do….

photo credit: Tales From the Coop Keeper | content: David Ramsey

What are your categories for your envelopes?

Tag: what is pinterest?

{Friday Ramble} One Reason He Hasn’t Put A Ring On It!

The Envelope System Saves $$$

Get on a Simple System